Dellusions
by FirstThingsLast
Summary: The line between reality and fiction is thin, and sometimes it's too late when you realize which is which. Stan's POV. After Kyle goes missing, Stan sets out to find out where he went. As the disappearances continue, he becomes more persistent only to find himself in too deep. M for future violence and gore.
1. When I'm Small

**So, writing from me hasn't happened in a while so I decided I should write something before I become illiterate. While I should be updating Infinite Thought, I can't bring myself to thanks to circumstances.**

**Buuuttt, that aside, I have been really fascinated by serial killers and their mentalities and things of the sorts recently, and I couldn't think of a better fandom to incorporate it into. This story is going to be loosely based off of the murders of Gary Heidnik. Look it up if you please.**

**This story will follow Stan as he tries to figure out who is behind the disappearances, but gets in way too deep to back out. This first chapter is short, but you should get a feel I hope.**

**There will be hinted and obvious pairings, because I'm still a fangirl.**

**And before I stop rambling, I need feedback! Is this too sick? Or does it sound interesting? Should I continue? I need some feedback to continue. If I don't get any, this'll be the only chapter I post.**

**I don't own South Park! You know who does~**

**Title song;When I'm Small by Phantogram**

.:::.

Growing up in this town, there really was nothing that went unexpected, and as I grew older this became more apparent. All of the things we'd seen, between the deaths of countless innocent people, the repeated destruction of our small mountain town and just the unimaginable, you could say that I had been desensitized. Ever since I had turned ten, things had been a lot more melancholy, and the repetition only made it worse for me.

Even so, there were some things that still remained unfathomable. They could never happen to us, maybe to other people but never to one of us. If we were going to be taken off of this cruel world, we'd be taken down by a giant Barbara, or some Frankenstein looking creature from a kids imagination or something that most people would doubt the existence of. Maybe we'd be blown up, or drowned in some underground tavern because of some Ex-Vice President's loneliness. All the cancer, and kidnappings and murders on the news were too weak to take us out..or so we liked to think.

It's what we all like to think. When it comes down to it though, we're all people, and not a single one of us are immune to the cruelty of reality. We deny it though, and as hard as we try we can never imagine it actually happening.

That's why when Kyle went missing, none of us really knew what to do. First instinct told us to laugh and joke around, coming up with dumb theories. 'He's off in the sewers playing with a Christmas turd' or 'He's bringing a whale to mexico' were a few jokes from the past we brought up. I guess we needed to cope a bit. We'd all disappeared before and scared the shit out of our families. Weeks passed though, and there was still no word from Kyle.

He always contacted me for help, he never tried to do it alone unless forced. Every day that passed came with more thinking and more theories stirred up in my head, and I soon joined the group of worried and searching.

I cursed myself for having a class on Saturday and going instead of skipping. Kyle was far more important than some Psychology test, and I couldn't focus anyway so it ended up being a waste of my time. Eric refused to go to college for some reason I didn't care to inquire about, and Kenny was just too poor. Seeing as they'd both be free I decided we'd meet up once I got out.

Eric's basement had always been the meeting spot, and the setting had changed very little. The only thing that was new was the couch that had once been in their living room, put in the basement by Eric when they got a new one upstairs. Me and Kenny sat on that as we waited for Cartman to return with snacks that he insisted he needed. His way with coping with things was to eat, which is why I didn't argue. I looked over at Kenny, watching him sit back before moving his glance to meet mine. He blinked a bit before averting his eyes away away, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn't.

My eyes fixed on a brick in the wall as I stared. Nothing was special about it. In fact, it looked like almost every other one that surrounded it. Just staring at the cement block made me feel a bit uneasy though, and all I could think about was Kyle sitting somewhere, wishing someone would find him.

I heard footsteps descending and my eyes tore away from the block. Cartman approached us, throwing a bag of chips on Kenny's lap without a word and sitting on the folding chair that was placed in front of us. My body was stiff, and no matter what I did, I couldn't relax it now. Especially not with that image in my head. I watched Cartman fidget a bit, the tension in the getting to him as much as it was me.

Kenny broke the silence when he cleared his throat some, speaking after. "So..what do we do..?" I looked at him again, his bright blue eyes moving to look down at the chips in his lap. I looked down to them as well, not really wanting to eat anything with my stomach in knots. Just as I thought that though, I heard Cartman open the bag he'd kept for himself.

"I-I dunno man..." I started, my voice caught in my throat. Just saying those words made me feel helpless and disoriented. Why couldn't I help my best friend..? The sound of the chips crunching underneath Eric's teeth started to get to me, and for some reason I felt a need to compensate for what I lacked. "I'm going to do something though! He needs our help." I said with a bit more conviction than intended.

Cartman stared at me for a bit, leaning back in his chair and shoving a few more chips into that mouth of his. He looked like he was thinking, and maybe something intelligent would come out of his mouth. "Wow..you're really gay for him, aren't you?"

I could quickly feel the anger and insult rising up in my body as I heard the question, my brows furrowing. I leaned forward some, my voice raised a bit. "Gay? He's not in trouble here! This is serious!"

"Yeah...seriously gay.."

Something inside of me snapped and it began to become less about Kenny and more about defending myself in some selfish way. "I'm not the one who asked him to prom!"

"I told you guys that that was a joke! Don't think you can twist what happened, Marsh!"

"Twisted? You're the one who's not remembering correctly! You knew how he felt! You don't deserve to be his frie-"I felt an arm reach across my chest. I don't know when I had started moving to get up and go at Eric, but Kenny had extended his arm to stop me.

"Should we really be bickering right now..?" Kenny asked in a flat tone.

I blinked a few times in thought before letting out a sigh. Thanks to that, we had only made thing worse and now it'd be more difficult to talk about anything. The tension was higher, and I could feel my blood still boiling. It'd take a bit for me to cool down.

The room remained quiet before the sound of the door opening gave us something to listen to. The stairs creaked a bit as made her way halfway down them, leaning against the railing as she looked at us. We all turned our attention to her, a bit relieved. The relief soon vanished though, when I saw her face. I could tell just by looking at her that something unsettling was on her mind.

"Cartman, honey..it looks like another one of your friends has gone missing. Come look..it's on the news.."

It took my brain a moment to register what she had said, but when it did, my eyes grew wide. I looked to Kenny then Eric before standing up. The other two did the same soon after, and without hesitation we made our way up to the living room.

On the television, just as she had said, stood Wendy's parents. I knew them anywhere. They were like my second family at this point, Wendy always being very close to me growing up. They were crying, and talking about how their little Wendy had never returned home last night.

Seeing them so devastated and realizing that Wendy was now gone too was like a punch in the stomach, and I almost became sick. My head was spinning a bit, and I closed my eyes to alleviate the nausea.

The news cast said that they weren't sure if she had gone missing for the same reason as Kyle or if she was even really missing, but the feeling that I got I couldn't deny.

I had to find them. It wasn't just Kyle anymore. Seeing a newscast about a missing friend for the second time shouldn't have happened.

This kind of stuff doesn't happen here. It doesn't happen to us.

If only I hadn't thought so naively back then. If only we'd all known what was about to happen to us..

.::.

So yeah.

Feedback please?

I know this chapter wasn't the greatest, but I haven't written in a long loonng time.

Also, let me know if I should switch POV's. Would that be more interesting? To know where Kyle is and what's happening?

Thanks a bunch~


	2. New National Anthem

**I feel the need to keep going with this..**

**Just because.**

**Though I almost gave in and started a Kyman fic instead.. but I resisted.**

**I was conflicted with what order to do things in, and I decided to keep things interesting by switching to Kyle's point of view.**

**I'm excited because I've laid out how to tie everything together.**

**So yeah, this is in Kyle's POV.**

**Enjoy it.**

**Title Song;The New National Anthem by Pierce the Veil**

.:::.

College was no fun, especially when the harsh realization that I was growing up came along with it. I never thought it would happen, and I know that I didn't want it to happen. I was wishing for any excuse to not have to deal with these preasures anymore.

I guess that I shouldn't have made such a foolish wish.

Stan and I didn't get to just hang around very much anymore, and all I can remember of that day was that we finally did. It was after one of my classes, so he met me outside of campus and we just went to the nearby park for a bit. It was trivial whether we were actually having too much fun, but it was still refreshing just to get to see him. We talked for a while, and then I remember him having to go home to help with something.

That's where everything starts to blur. I needed to go to the library, so I remember heading that way by foot since it wasn't too far away. I don't remember going inside though, because the next thing that I knew happened was I was being forced inside of a car. I fell back onto the back seat and he climbed over me, wrapping his hands around my throat. That's where I started to struggle and try to pull his hands away. I could see everything that had happened that day flashing before my eyes, and I thought that I was going to die there. I tried to scream but due to the constriction nothing would come out. He must have known what he was doing though, because I only passed out.

I woke up a bit when I was being carried, but I can't recall exactly where I was, and before I knew it I had blacked out again.

The next time I woke up, I was sitting on a cement floor in what appeared to be a basement. My jacket was flung across the room, which for some reason was the first thing I had noticed in my drowsy state. I had been stripped of it and was now feeling the overwhelming cold rushing over my exposed skin. I began to shiver a bit, and still somewhat out of it I moved to crawl across the floor and get it. I was greeted by the sound of chains rattling though and the feeling of restraint, which managed to sober me up quickly. My eyes quickly moved to look at my wrists, which were stuck in some make-shift cuff that was attached to a large chain. The other end of the chains were tightly fasened to a pipe. I started off calmly pulling on them, trying to wiggle out of the restraint, but I started to lose my head and before I knew it I was tugging furiously with all of my might and hurting myself. I couldn't work my way free, which both terrified and frustrated me and caused tears to well in my eyes.

"Help..!" My first cry was quiet and uncertain but after clearing my throat, another more confident one escaped. "Someone help! Help me! Please!" My screams were accompanied by the sound of the chains rattling as I continued to desperately squirm. I continued this until I heard a door open, followed by footsteps.

My eyes darted over to look at the staircase across the room, the source of all the noise. I could feel my hairs stand on end as my mind went into a frightened frenzy. This is when I began to feel more trapped than I ever had in my life, knowing that there was no way I was going to get away from who ever it was coming down. It was almost like that feeling you get when the seeker in Hide N Seek is close to where your hiding, or when you're the one who was found and being chased in man hunt, only this was real. I moved to back up as much as I could, my back pressing against the pipes as a figure came into my sight. Though all I could see was a silhouette, my deductive reasoning told me that it was the man who had taken me and chained me up here.

Once he reached the bottom of the stairs he flipped a switch, which turned the lights on and made it apparent just how dark it had been down there before he'd done that, the only light having been coming from a small window off to the side of where I was. When I saw his face, I realized I recognized the man, having seen him around the library quite a bit. A twisted smile was on his face as he saw how terrified I was.

"I see you're awake now..I don't think I appreciate your screaming though.." He stated quite plainly, walking towards where I was seated. I wanted so badly to plead for my life and tell him to let me go. I wanted to threaten him and let him know that I'd be found soon enough and when I was he'd be in a lot of trouble. Nothing came out of my mouth though, and instead I was left scared silent.

He squatted down in front of me, his hand reaching out towards my face. I flinched a bit, expecting something other then what I actually received. His fingers gently caressed my cheek and caused me to open my eyes slowly.

"Oh, don't worry..I won't kill you. "

Those words echoed through my head for next week, though my fear didn't die down any.

I went two days with out eating before he brought me any food, his excuse being that he wasn't used to having a pet and having to take care of it, the first of many degrading things he'd do. Whenever I would begin to scream out for help, he'd come down and turn the radio on loud enough to drown me out and then sit in his chair and watch me for a while. He'd stare at me, as if I'd get away if he didn't. I could feel his eyes burrowing into my skin, and I couldn't look away no matter how hard I tried. He'd just stare at me with those disapproving eyes.

He had also started to dig a hole in the center of the floor. At first, I was sure that it was going to be my grave but that thought dissipated as the hole got bigger and bigger. I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing with it.

After some time, I'd stopped trying to scream and instead waited for him to come down and ask to listen to the radio, which he'd let me while he worked on the hole he was digging. I figured that obeying him would get me more then defying him.

I kept track of time using the radio shows that came on for ten minutes every hour. The'd state the date and time throughout it and keep me updated on things that were happening. I even heard about myself one time, and how there was a search out. I didn't get to listen to it much though, for it seemed to upset him and he changed it as soon as he could.

A few days of me 'behaving' had him deciding that I had earned my coat back, which i was grateful for. It kept me warm and was a better bed than cement.

The days when he only came down to feed me made me want to start screaming again. I figured that that would get him to turn the radio on so I'd have something to listen to at least, but I was also scared that he'd take my coat away so I held back.

Another week must have passed and sitting down there was beginning to seem normal to me, as if that was my way of coping with it. I found little ways to keep entertained, and I figured out that if I picked at the wall a little, I could get small pebbles to fall off. For some time I kept myself occupied by seeing how many I could collect and what I could make out of them. I could even draw on the floor if I pressed hard enough, and it was that discovery alone that made me feel a little less melancholy. That is, until he found out that I was doing it. He thought it was some kind of rebellious act I was pulling, that I was trying to escape or something. That's when I found out what the hole was for.

I could tell he was furious when he stomped out of the room. It had been some time since I last panicked, but the thought of him returning with tools to torture me with had be trying to escape again. It took some time but he eventually came back with a large board, throwing it on the ground beside the hole. I flinched as he removed my chains, my eyes shut fearfully the whole time. Once they were off, he grabbed my arms and started to drag me. My eyes opened, and I began to struggle a bit. It was no use though, and I was in the hole before i even had a chance to escape.

He forced the board over my head, hitting the top of it as he tried to force me to sit down and fit. I tried to scramble and climb out, but whenever I did he'd just hit me again until I remained down. He covered the hole completely so that no light came in, placing something on it to keep me from pushing the board up. He left me there, sobbing in complete darkness.

A few days went by and I heard nothing from him, leaving me to think that I'd die there. Maybe this was his form of extreme punishment. Maybe the cops had caught him and were questioning him about where I was. Maybe he'd say I was already dead. My stomach began to feel like it was eating itself, actually causing me more pain then I'd anticipated. That's why I was so happy when I heard the familiar sound of the basement door unlocking and footsteps descending the stairs. I no longer expected to escape, I was happy just knowing food or radio was coming.

The reason I was being taken out of the hole didn't make me feel as good as I thought it would though. As he pulled me from the hole, I saw Wendy's limp body lying on the floor close to my original spot. He chained me up about five feet from where I had been last, Wendy taking my spot on the floor.

It was sick and I knew it, but I was almost ecstatic that I wasn't alone anymore. After weeks of solitude, someone else was here to share the pain.

It took her a few hours for her to come to but when she did I sat up straight in my spot. "W-Wendy..?" I spoke out softly so he wouldn't hear me. I wanted to get her attention.

She still looked sleepy as her eyes darted around before falling on me. "Kyle..? I thought you were dead..everyone does.." She seemed calm, probably still unaware of what had happened. She moved her hands up to rub her eyes and thats when she realized she was stuck, just like I had, only her panic started almost immediately. "Kyle?! W-what is this?!" She raised her voice as she began to flail. The chains rattled and she made the same naive attempts to get help that I had.

"Wendy! He won't let you eat if you eat if you keep it up.." I said in a serious tone. She fluttered her eyes in a confused manner at me before gulping nervously, growing quiet. She obviously believed me, or at least she believed that I knew what I was talking about. Her silence had come too late though, she had already caught his attention. I could see she was scared as her wide eyes stared at the stairs, something I had grown out of.

I turned to her, my movement getting her attention as she quickly looked my way for guidance.

"Don't worry...he won't kill you.."

.::.

**Yeah. Still rusty, so sorry for my terrible writing.**

**Remember to review please!**

**Thanks a bunch.**

**^u^**


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